Filthy Monkey

A rich dessert-style coffee creamer loaded with creamy banana, toasted marshmallow sweetness, roasted peanut butter, and deep cocoa richness. Smooth, cozy, and just chaotic enough to feel like a highly questionable science experiment conducted by filthy monkeys with access to advanced syrup technology.

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups heavy cream

  • 1/2 cup whole milk

  • 3/4 cup granulated white sugar

  • 2 tablespoons powdered peanut butter

  • 1 tablespoon Dutch-process cocoa powder

  • 2 tablespoons crème de banana syrup

  • 1 tablespoon toasted marshmallow syrup

  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

  • 1/4 teaspoon salt

Optional “Dessert Mode” Upgrade:

  • 1/4 teaspoon butter extract

  • Extra drizzle of toasted marshmallow syrup

Instructions:

Heat the base — Warm the heavy cream and milk in a saucepan over low heat and stir in the white sugar until dissolved.

Add cocoa & peanut butter — Whisk in the powdered peanut butter, cocoa powder, and salt until smooth and fully blended.

Remove from heat — Take the pan off the heat and let cool for about 10 minutes.

Add flavor — Stir in the crème de banana syrup, toasted marshmallow syrup, vanilla extract, and butter extract if using.

Whisk smooth — Whisk until silky and fully combined.

Cool & bottle — Pour into a glass bottle or jar and refrigerate before using.

Tips:

  • Do not boil the cream.

  • Dutch-process cocoa gives a smoother milk-chocolate flavor.

  • Toasted marshmallow syrup adds a soft campfire-style sweetness that rounds out the banana beautifully.

  • Powdered peanut butter keeps the flavor rich without making the creamer overly heavy or oily.

  • Shake before serving if needed.

Creamsmiths Notes:

This one started as a joke and somehow evolved into an absurdly good dessert creamer. The banana comes through first, followed by toasted marshmallow and chocolate richness, while the peanut butter lingers in the finish like the aftermath of a very irresponsible sundae decision. The balance stays surprisingly smooth and drinkable despite sounding completely unhinged on paper.

Statistically unlikely to be terrible. Shmaybe.

Coffee Pairing:

Medium roasts work best here — especially coffees with chocolate, nutty, caramel, or graham cracker notes. This creamer absolutely shines in rich diner-style coffee, medium Colombian coffees, or darker breakfast blends where the banana and marshmallow can turn the cup into full dessert territory.